My first race of the season, an A-race, is this Sunday. *gulp*
And so, of course, I have butterflies in my stomach, and hopes and dreams of how I might do (how I WILL do - I tell myself) and how much fun SJV and I will have. I've spent the better part of the last few months getting my body trained, and my mind trained (sometimes harder to train than my body), and this weekend will be a fun test of how the new training program is going.
And so, because there's a "test" coming up, I have a wee bit of the nerves jangling around. Perfectly normal -- I always had butterflies before a show, or a performance, or a big oral argument. But I keep reminding myself that nerves are good -- if you didn't have a little nervous energy you would be "flat" and have no real motivation to be your best. So I'll take the butterflies, since I know they'll give me some oompha come Sunday morning.
And, I've got to admit that even if I blow up on the bike, or the run, or even the swim (though I really hope I can last at least until the bike!) I'm still darned proud of my training thus far this year. I've now gotten used to my new pedals (and yes, I have fallen... more funny stories on that later); I'm nearly used to the aerobars (though I'm using a bit of a training-wheel mentality with them); I'm hydrating better on the bike than ever before (thanks to SJV and his amazing Present of the Speedfill -- GREATEST invention of the century); I'm feeling better about my swim-stroke (more funny/inspirational stories on that later); and I'm just generally more ... Confident.
And isn't that really what this is supposed to be all about, anyway? I mean, aren't we really all going out there and stretching ourselves -- reaching beyond what we normally do (frankly, what normal people normally do) and testing our own limits? That's what I see as the fun of it -- walking around with the satisfaction that you were out on your bike for X hours -- that it was you, and your feet, and your heart that got you from point A to point B -- that you achieved that thing, on that day. That's a serious confidence boost -- and it's something that nobody can take away from you.
So, this last weekend I totaled the miles that SJV and I traveled with our own two feet and our hearts on Sunday alone -- 50 miles -- and I was pretty excited about that. There are lots of people that go further, and lots of people that go faster -- but to me, 50 miles is pretty fantastic indeed.
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